You went through the steps, and gotten a girl’s number. You call, and getting no answer, you leave a message.
Therein lies the issue.
You’ve essentially put the ball in her court, and if you call her back too soon, you’re going to look desperate. Wait too long to call her back, and you run the risk of having her lose interest.
This begs the question – how long should you wait for a girl to call you back?
If you watch a movie like “Swingers,” all about young guys in the club scene, the common knowledge there is to wait 3 days to call back.
The logic here is that 3 days seems like enough time so that you don’t come off as some type of desperate freak. But when it comes to getting a return phone call, you should be thinking about ANYTHING but yourself!
Understand – it’s up to the girl whether or not she will call you back. So if you understand where she’s coming from, you’ll have a better idea of when to try again.
For example, how much of a sense did you get from this girl that she liked you when she handed you that number? Some girls like to just give out their number in order to get rid of the guy.
Being sure that she was interested is a key factor. You’ll have some breathing room with someone who was really into you as opposed to someone on the fence.
Be mindful of the fact that sometimes, she’ll just be too busy to call. It could be that, when she finally DOES get time, she’s too tired or just doesn’t feel like talking.
Remember – talking to someone on the phone is a time commitment, and it also takes mental energy that can sometimes be hard to expend. Calling a girl on a weekday, when most people have jobs and responsibilities to attend to, can affect callback time.
Here are some tips when it comes to playing the phone game…
Have something ready to talk about, if you have to leave a message. Just saying “hi” and telling her to call you back won’t cut it. Give a reason to call you back. Recall a prior conversation or point of interest. Tell her you just heard a funny joke you’d like to share with her. It doesn’t matter, as long as she knows there’s something to look forward to when she calls.
Give her a day to call you back. Don’t wait three days, but don’t call her back an hour later either. If she doesn’t get back to you in a day’s time, she might have just gotten busy or sidetracked. Call again the next day.
Use text message reminders before the next callback. Unlike leaving voice messages, texting a girl often doesn’t come off as desperate. In fact, they can serve as good reminders, and more women will text you back rather than call you back. After your message, text her around three hours later. You can say something like:
“Hey – haven’t heard back from you yet. You must be super-busy! Or are you leading some strange double life I don’t know about? lol.”
Occasional texts are great for keeping you on her mind.
Don’t overdo it when it comes to the calls either. I’ll call a girl three times, and if I don’t hear back or she doesn’t respond to my texts, I move on. Don’t waste your time on some girl who isn’t responding, because there are too many out there who will.