Dating in high school or in our twenties is far different than dating as adults. Adult dating comes with the complexity of living in a busy world with deadlines and responsibilities. The club scene attracts a younger crowd and dating someone at work can be seen as unprofessional. Using traditional methods can be awkward and time consuming.
The digital age can replace night clubs and co-workers. Social networking by way of online dating services, chat rooms and other forums can replace the traditional dating devices. The ability to meet more people across the internet gives those adults wishing to date more opportunities. Finding dates online use to be frowned on but that is no longer the case.
Today it can be the preferred method to meet new people. Meeting online may help ease anxiety and help push through those clumsy first few moments. Personal appearance takes a backseat to actually getting to know the person through dialogue. Getting to know a person this way offers the ability to feel out what they want and what they are like. The first face to face meeting will always feel a little awkward but the ground work has been already laid out to have a smooth first date.
At first, adult dating becomes less about being spontaneous and more about structure. Being on time, well mannered, and having a plan for the date can be admired. Being spontaneous waste time and can doom the first date. Dinner is always a good place to start an evening. For comfort, the two can arrive separately and over the course of the meal they could build upon the relationship that started online. Going to the movies or a stage play is not ideal. The couple would find themselves looking at the screen or stage and not paying attention to each other.
When the date comes to an end there is no need to make plans for a second date. Texting and Smart phones have built in a friendly buffer that allows words on a screen to express interests in meeting again or not. Texting to break off a relationship with an established partner is tasteless. But to tell the other that the had a good time but another date would not be likely is less painful when read than heard. Besides if things go wrong, phone numbers can always be blocked.
In a second date, conversations should lean toward what type of relationship each wants. Is this person wanting a serious, long term relationship? Maybe just companionship with a new friend is all either want. These types of conversations keeps busy adults from wasting time with a person who has different future plans. Also, if the mood is right, the second date could include to a movie or a walk in the park, anything of mutual interest.
Showing off to impress the other may have worked well in high school but is not something that grown adults should do. As mature adults, there should be no pressure to act a certain way or to do things out of character. After the relationship has had time to grow surprises and being spontaneous can be romantic and even necessary. It works then because each has learned about the other and being spontaneous is not guessing what the other wants but acting on what the other likes. All relationships should be open and honest, dating adults also need comfort and respect.