Recent research is showing that over time men have been motivated by the allure of sex as the primary factor in infidelity. On the other hand, women usually look for sparks outside of marriage because of emotional isolation in a relationship.
While historical figures seem to prove that more men cheat on their spouses then women, recent trends over the past decade show that infidelity is rising for both men and women. Factors such as increased job travel and the ability to be anonymous over the Internet have made it easier for affairs to take place. Additionally, women are getting more career opportunities and are more financially independent than ever before.
One of the most upsetting things about infidelity for women has always been the fear of their significant other having emotionally significant relationships with their mistresses. Women have shown that they are more likely to forgive an affair if it is based solely on sex. The possibility of emotional intimacy with a mistress is one of the most devastating fears a wife can have. This is why one night stands with prostitutes or escorts tend to be less threatening to wives than relationships with parties that both the husband and wife are familiar with.
From the mans perspective, they are less concerned with emotional ties between their wife and a third party. Even if the man is no longer in love with his wife, men simply don’t want anyone else to have what used to be theirs. When relationships are not built on the core principles of affection and slip into some form of emotional neglect, women are usually the first ones to think about separating or divorcing. While this may be a generalization, it has been proven that women spend more time thinking about the impact that the separation could have on the entire family. Children, finances, and survival are at the top of the list of things that women contemplate when considering splitting up. Men tend to live in the moment and think about their actions after they have already been committed. Anger is a common emotion for both parties when they find out that they have been betrayed emotionally and physically.
A common theme of advice that is often given to women is to start to separate the husbands affair from their love for the wife. One of the main reasons that women tend to be slower to move on is that they cannot separate their husbands affair from their marriage. Even in situations where their husband truly loves them and is willing to make the necessary changes to make things right in the marriage, the wives will never forget. In cases like these, the fear can overshadow all aspects of the marriage and any remaining attempts at affection. Obviously these insecurities and thoughts are warranted, but in terms of moving on in a relationship it can make things virtually impossible.
Trust is the commodity that is damaged most in infidelities, and couples that have any success moving on with each other have to undergo significant counseling to rekindle the love that they once had. As hard as it may be to imagine life any other way, it is usually much easier to continue enjoying life by finding a new significant other – at least temporarily.